10 Golden Rules of Argument - How to Argue (Category I)

“The aim of argument, or of discussion, should not be victory but progress.” Karl Popper

Arguing should lead to a better understanding of another person’s point of view and a better understanding of your own.

Golden Rule #1: Be prepared
Make sure you know the essential points you want to make. Research the facts you need to convince your opponent. Being prepared for an argument is key to success. Sometimes arguments come out of the blue. But not always.

Golden Rule #2: When to argue, when to walk away
Think carefully before you start to argue: is this the time; is this the place?

Golden Rule #3: What you say and how you say it
Spend time thinking about how to present your argument. Body language, choice of words and manner of speaking all affect how your argument will come across.

Golden Rule #4: Listen and listen again
Listen carefully to what the other person is saying. Watch their body language, listen for the meaning behind their words.Golden Rule #5: Excel at responding to arguments

Golden Rule #5: Excel at responding to arguments
Think carefully about what arguments the other person will listen to. What are their preconceptions? Which kinds of arguments do they find convincing?

Golden Rule #6: Watch out for crafty tricks
Arguments are not always as good as they first appear. Be wary of your opponent’s use of statistics. Keep alert for distraction techniques such as personal attacks and red herrings. Look out for concealed questions and false choices.

Golden Rule #7: Develop the skills for arguing in public
Keep it simple and clear. Be brief and don’t rush.

Golden Rule #8: Be able to argue in writing
Always choose clarity over pomposity. Be short, sharp and to the point, using language that is easily understood.

Golden Rule #9: Be great at resolving deadlock
Be creative in finding ways out of an argument that’s going nowhere. Is it time to look at the issue from another angle? Are there ways of putting pressure on so that the other person has to agree with you? Is a compromise possible?

Golden Rule #10: Maintain relationships
This is absolutely key. What do you want from this argument? Humiliating, embarrassing or aggravating your opponent might make you feel good at the time, but you might have many lonely days to rue your mistake. Find a result that works for both of you. You need to move forward. Then you will be able to argue again another time!

Left over:
#11: How to argue with those you love
#12: How to argue with your children
#13: Arguments at work
#14: How to complain
#15: How to get what you want from an expert
#16: Arguing when you know you’re in the wrong
#17: Arguing again and again
#18: Doormats
#19: How to be a good winner
#20: To recap