The Psychology of Persuasion (Category K)
“Everyone lives by selling something.” - Robert Louis Stevenson
“If there is any one secret to success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from his angle as well as from your own.” - Henry Ford.
“The great aim of education is not knowledge, but action” - Herbert Spencer.
Important Laws of Persuasion
Law of Reciprocity - When someone gives you something of perceived value, you immediately respond with a desire to give something back.
Law of Contrast - When two items are relatively different from each other, we will see them as more different if placed close together in time or space.
Law of Friends - When someone asks you to do something and you perceive that person to have your best interests in mind, and/or you would like him to have your best interests in mind, you are strongly motivated to fulfill the request.
Law of Expectancy - When someone whom you believe in or respect expects you to perform a task or produce a certain result, you will tend to fulfill his expectation whether positive or negative.
Law of Association - We tend to like products, services, or ideas that are endorsed by other people we like or respect.
Law of Consistency - When an individual announces in writing or verbally that he is taking a position on any issue or point of view, he will strongly tend to defend that belief regardless of its accuracy even in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary. For Ex.
Master Persuader: Do you believe that it is extremely important to cut costs to increase bottom-line profits?
Prospect: Sure.
Master Persuader: If our product could cut your costs and increase bottom-line profits, would you want it?
Master Persuader asks if certain values are extremely important (critical, vital, etc). Then, when prospect agrees that certain thing is of very high value, the Master persuader offers to give the prospect what he values.Law of Scarcity - When a person believes that something he might want is limited in quantity, he believes that the value of what he might want is greater than if it were available in abundance.
Law of Conformity - Most people tend to agree to proposals, products, or services that will be perceived as acceptable by majority of other people or a majority of an individual’s peer group. People fall into 3 categories:
Conformists - 85% of people. They are concerned about how others perceive them and want to be accepted.
Contrarian Conformists - 10% of people. They tend to rebel against current social norms in relatively large groups. They set themselves apart from general population in their views. They setup their own rules or beliefs to follow.
Contrarian - They discard everything that a confirmist believes.
Law of Power - People have power over other people to the degree that they are perceived as having greater authority, strength or expertise.
“The only way on earth to influence the other fellow is to talk about what he wants and show him how to get it.” - Dale Carnegie.
Questions are used in the persuasion process to clarify statements, determine values, draw out objections, and direct the conversation. Questions are also used to conceive the receiver that your objectives are valid and shout be met.
Clarity of Viewpoint
People frequently respond to your communication in ways that leave their true viewpoints ambiguous. It is very important to get viewpoints clarified then and there if possible. Ex:
Receiver: I have got to think it over.
Master Persuader (MP): Sure, I understand. You need a few minutes alone. I’ll get a cup of coffee and give you some time. Would you like some coffee or drink? OR
MP: Please let me help you, so I understand. Is it the money? or was there something else? OR
MP: Before I go, could I leave you some information that would cover your thoughts? What exactly was it you needed to think over?
Dealing with Emotional Issues
Questions are used by Master Persuader to control, and lead a conversation with precision. There are sometimes however, when the use of questions will not lead to a successful change.
When issue is emotional, political, or spiritual – logical questions aren’t enough. For ex. per law of consistency, if someone is emotionally associated to Reebok, it is rarely that you can convince him to buy otherwise.
Clarity of Values
It is important to determine a hierarchy of values for yourself and others. There are two types of values:
Mean values - Mean Values are objects or actions, like houses, cars, investments, computer, sex, computer, etc. End Values are feelings associated with those mean values, like love, fun, excitement, happiness, health, power, etc.
End values - The end values can be either attraction values (as mentioned above) or avoidance values, like anger, sadness, frustration, humiliation, etc.
To know what represents the values for others, Ask them directed questions as:
Car Salesperson: What is most important criteria in your decision to buy a car?
Fund Raiser: How do you like to see dollars spent by non-profit organizations? Is it the most important way?
Manager: What do you like the most about your job?
Husband: What is most important to you in our relationship?
Friend: What is most important to you in our friendship?
Once you know other people’s values, you can easily persuade them to whatever result you choose. Here lies a problem. A Master Persuader seeks WIN/WIN and nothing less. Learning people’s values must be practiced in all relationships, both personal and professional.
<note tip>Remember: prescription before diagnosis is grounds for malpractice. We should not persuade people to our idea, product or service, or belief unless it is in their best interest.</note>
Powerful Words
The Name: The most powerful word on the face of the earth is our own name. Learn how a person is generally identified, first name, middle name, or last name? Try to use the same name that the next person is used to.
If you use person’s first name at the very beginning or very end of a sentence, the likelihood of persuading that person is drastically increased.
Please and Thank You: These words give persuasive edge to the master persuader.
32 power words that sell:
advantage, exciting, improved, proud, save, deserve, discovery, easy, benefit, fun, investment, proven, security, guarantee, happy, health, comfort, free, joy, profit, trust, love, money, new, results, right, safety, truth, value, powerful, vital, you.
Time Pressure Techniques
Some people are simply slow at making decisions. It is often important for master persuader to move the process along. The reverse applies while buying.
For the salesperson, there is no tomorrow. Knowing this, prospects must not sign on the dotted line straight away. Allow salesperson to come down and down and down. The more time you spend with any salesperson, the more he is pressurized to offer his product to you at the lowest prize possible. Time is Money.
If you understand well that life and death aren’t involved in the particular persuasion, you will be more relaxed and less pressured. If you can walk away with a “no” when local deal turns from WIN/WIN to LOSE/WIN, you will do well.
In negotiations of all kinds, if you are under no time pressure, you probably have little to lose. All the pressure will be on the next party.
Credibility Techniques
Credibility is in the eyes of the perceiver. You will not be perceived credible if you don’t meet our perceiver’s standards.
First rule of credibility is never to tell another person more than he can believe.
Your product, service, or idea may be the best and solves all problems in world. But if perceiver doesn’t think it can do all this and more, he won’t want anything with it or you. You will be perceived exaggerating.
You must be ready to point out the negative aspects of your service, product or idea. If you do so, you will disarm the perceiver from trying to find it, leaving him to focus on benefits. You would be perceived credible.
The second way to be credible is to be precise. Instead of saying you lost 20 pounds, say you lost 17 pounds. That sounds 100% believable.
Another key step to credibility is to have written documentation or take reference of authorities in the given field.
Finally, in most of the transactions, the perceiver thinks that the person who started the conversation has probably something to gain. It would be wise to diminish that fact. For ex. “Whether you buy my product or not is OK with me. Its either going to make difference for you or it isn’t. If it isn’t you shouldn’t buy it. Its completely upto you.”. After you have said that, all defenses come down and you will be perceived as a professional.
Whichever way, ultimate questions to be answered are:
Are you a person of your word?
Are you 100% reliable, consistent, and timely?
Do you walk your talk?
Are you always seeking WIN/WIN situations?
Secrets
Nearly everyone loves secrets. When you share secrets with people, you gain a great deal of trust from your listeners. For ex. “Off the record, I think you should know …”. “I am not supposed to be telling you, but this is how it works”.
When you confide in people, you tend to get the reciprocal behavior. Once the communication is completely open on intimate levels, persuading your counterpart is very simple outcome to achieve.
Future Pacing
A good sales person is always “closing”, a great sales person is always “future pacing”.
For ex. “if you like our product, will you buy it again?”
When you use future pacing technique, and prospect has conditionally told you he will use your product or service again, generally speaking he has agreed to try your product once.
After you have sold once, don’t track your customer to buy again. It will make him skeptical. Just do your paper work.
Language Patters
Hypnotic Language Patterns
In hypnotherapy, the practitioner’s job is to set the client at ease, help him relax, and carefully convince him that he can achieve whatever goals that he has come to practitioner for.
“Don’t” language patterns
People can’t make picture of the word “don’t” in their minds. Therefore, we can use this word in language patterns to influence others. For ex.
“Don’t look at me and smile”
“Don’t decide now. You can do it later if you’re uncomfortable”
“Don’t makeup your mind so quickly”
“Might” and “Maybe” Language Patterns
We tend to give orders to our spouses, children, and employees, while we ourselves don’t like to take orders. Therefore, we can use “Might” and “Maybe” Language Patterns. For ex,
“You might want to take trash out … now”
“You might want to cut the lawn … now”
“Maybe you haven’t purchased more life insurance yet”
These words “might” and “maybe” too work similar to “don’t”.
Assumption of the Obvious Language Patterns
When we given people credit for knowing something they really know nothing about, they generally will say nothing and allow us to believe them to be smarter or more aware than they really are. For ex.
“You probably already know that you are going to buy this”
“You probably already know, deep in your heart, how much I love you”
“People can, you know, lose weight with this plan”
“People can, you know, make a mistake without trying to hurt someone”
“You will soon realize that you have made the right decision to join the church”
“Sooner or later you will be happy with your decision”
“Eventually, you will know that this is right for you”
“Eventually, you will notice how happy I make you”
“Tell You” Language Patterns
People do not like to be told what to do. We like to think that each great idea is ours and that we have great idea, that is entirely our own. For ex,
“I wouldn’t tell you to consider a new career, because you want to be in charge of your own future”
“I could tell you that Toyotas are far superior to this car but I won’t. You’ll realize it after you’ve owned this car for a few years.”
The Truth Language Patterns
Truth is what each individual believes it to be. The people you come into contact with every day often want to know if you are being truthful with them. The way someone knows you are telling truth is if you believe the same thing he does.
It is a powerful tool for getting people to agree with you on just about anything. They key here is to get the next person either say or think, “yes, yes, yes, yes, … yes”, then request your desire.
For ex.
Vote request:
“Taxes are skyrocketing”,
“Crime is on rise”
“Your money is being mis-spent by the government”
“You are sick of current administration”
(therefore)
“Vote for me, and we will make a change together”
Sell:
“You want to spend your retirement life comfortably”
“You deserve the best things in life”
“You have sacrificed for your family”
“You have worked hard all these years”
(therefore)
“Invest in this program to give you not only what you have earned, but what you deserve”
By getting “yes, yes, yes, …, yes” response either verbally or internally, you create a receptive state of mind in the person you are trying to persuade. Once the person is in this state, it is very difficult for him to say “no” after saying “yes” to so many statements or questions.
Interestingly, the non-verbal communication that we exhibit is two to seven times more significant in persuasion than the words we say.
Stressing on different words of a sentence would carry different meaning.
Stress on particular word can change entire focus of communication process.
The vocal message is more important than verbal one.
If we are being perceived as being sarcastic at an inappropriate time, not only do we stifle communication, but we destroy our ability to influence.
<note important>Remember: Actions speak louder than words - Anonymous </note>